Contrarian Thinking in College Admissions (and Life)

“Should I apply for COSMOS this summer? What about SIP?” my student asked recently, referring to highly competitive, “gold standard”, scientific research programs for high schoolers.

“No,” I replied. “I want you to put together a capstone project where you come up with your own research question and determine your own methodology.”

“Are you sure? I’m afraid I’m missing out,” my student said. “Everyone at my school is doing it.”

“That’s exactly why I don’t want you to waste your time and $10k on it,” I replied. 

“If everyone’s doing it, you won’t stand out. 

Don’t pay to do a summer program. 

No hand holding. No working on someone else’s project.

You’re much better off figuring it out on your own, like my students who get into MIT.”

Contrarian thinking is the bedrock of my college admissions coaching philosophy, and one of the main reasons why 92% of my top students have gotten into Ivy-level schools or UC Berkeley/UCLA over the past 12 years. 

Here’s why my philosophy works:

Authenticity

When I’m at social events and people hear of my profession, they love telling me their kids’ experiences with the college application process. 

One parent shared a horror story where a “top” admissions coaching firm in NYC advised her son – who was interested in CS – to do a passion project in anthropology, to “look good” and differentiate himself. 

Once her son completed his anthropology project, the coach said the project wasn’t “good” enough, and the student wouldn’t get into a top school anyways.

The family was enraged he wasted his time – and I agree. 

The coach only cared about “getting the student in” (which was unsuccessful), not bringing value to the student. 

What did this teach the student? He wasn’t good enough to be authentic - he had to manufacture an identity to be accepted.

When I coach, I always ask the student what interests them and together we determine a capstone project leading towards their dream careers. That way, even if they don’t get into their top school, the capstone project still brings tremendous value, whether it be finding mentors, landing an internship, or teaching the teen concrete skills. 

High schoolers are extraordinarily busy – every activity should be in line with their interests since they have no time to waste.

Also, if your teen follows her authentic interest, she’ll have a strong origin story for her capstone project. 

In this era of AI, the most authentic story behind a project will win. It’s the person with the best story – not just the strongest technical skills – who will get into the college, win the scholarship, and get hired for the job. 

People are not looking for the most accomplished robots, they are looking for genuinely kind, talented human beings.

I’ve seen it time and time again – and also experienced it in my own life.

Mental Wellness

In order to get into elite colleges, most teens must push themselves towards success at any cost. But the process often destroys kids, as we can see with the extraordinarily high levels of depression and anxiety at competitive high schools and elite colleges.

As a parent myself, with children who will be entering the high school pressure cooker soon, I value mental wellness and the long game. 

And I coach my students as if they were my own children. 

I’m not a Tiger Parent / Coach because I know that pushing oneself towards perfection does not guarantee entry into elite colleges, or a “successful” life. 

In fact, it can lead to the opposite. 

I’ve been out of Stanford for almost 3 decades now and have heard of several of my classmates committing suicide. And of course many more have anxiety and depression.

What’s the point of achievement if you can’t enjoy the fruit of your labor? 

My goal is to help students perform to the best of their ability, while balancing it with mental wellness.

How that looks concretely is in my coaching sessions I have regular check-ins with my teens about their stress levels. 

If they are highly stressed, we re-adjust load and timing of things. If they’re doing well and want to add more, we add more, strategically.

Key word: strategically. 

My goal is to work smart, not hard.

That philosophy is what’s allowed me to build a thriving admission coaching business that attracts families from around the globe, all while I work very, very part-time.

I take that same perspective and share it with my students - how can they most strategically spend their time? 

What moves the needle the most?

What are energy givers? 

What are energy vampires? 

Elite Admissions - Not the Goal But the By Product

I help my students execute on their interests and tell their best stories. 

If they follow my guidance, they end up not even needing elite schools to succeed, because they can create their own opportunities.

And it is precisely then that elite schools come calling. 

It’s a very different position for my students to be in – rather than begging to be allowed into an elite school, my students are so well positioned that elite schools end up competing with each other for my students. 

This is the power shift most teens never experience — but it’s achievable.

And it’s precisely how I run my business. 

I create value through thought leadership.

Many families reach out wanting to work with me.

I have them fill out an application and send a writing sample from the teen.

We have an interview process where we determine mutual fit. 

If a family only wants uncontrollable outcomes like Ivies, I gently decline. 

I value families who think holistically and take the long view for success in college, work and life.

As a result, I love my job.

I teach the very same mindsets, frameworks and strategies that help me succeed and build a beautiful life, and I watch my students thrive. 

If you want your teen to create their own opportunities and attract colleges to them, apply to see if we’re a match. One spot open for each of the Classes of 2027 and 2028.